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The bartender looks puzzled and says, “a glass of water?” The vampires pulls out a used tampon and says “tea time”.Ģ0.

The third vampires asks the bartender for a glass of water. The second vampire also asks the bartender for a shot of blood, he drinks it and leaves. First vampire asks the bartender for a shot of blood, the bartender gives him the shot, he drinks it and leaves. Old guy goes to the doc for a checkup and brings the wife along because he is hard of hearing.ĭoc: Everything looks ok but I still want to run tests so I need a urine, a feces and a sperm sample.ġ8. What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?ġ7. What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?ġ5. I’ve never paid 300 bucks to have a garbanzo bean on my face.ġ4. What’s the difference between a garbanzo bean and a chickpea? What do you call a hooker with a runny nose?ġ3. How do you spot a blind man in a nudist camp?ġ2. What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball?ġ1. The biker grins and says “Well wash your hands, because I want a cheeseburger.”ġ0. She smiles at the biker coyly, and he asks in a quiet voice “Are you the one who gives the hand jobs?” The bartender blushes slightly and says “Yes, I am” with a sexy little smile. The crusty old biker waves the bartender down, and up walks this tall, busty, beautiful redhead in her mid-twenties.

He takes a look at the menu and it reads as follows: A biker walks into a bar and sits down on a bar stool near the end of the bar. Why don’t rednecks try reverse cowgirl?īecause you never turn your back on family.ĩ. At dinner, she told her sister: “My monkey has grown hair.” Her sister smiled and said: “That’s nothing, mine is already eating bananas.”īecause I put on the wrong sock this morningĨ. Her mom calmly said: “That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair.” the girl smiled. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair. A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. How did pinnochio figure out he was made of wood?Ħ. What does it taste like when you eat out an old person?Ĥ. To which the man says “No thanks, if four shots doesn’t get the taste out of my mouth, nothing will.”ģ. The bartender looks at the man and says “Four shots for yourself? What’s the special occasion?” to which the man replies “First blowjob.” The bartender puts on a congratulatory smile and pats the man on the shoulder and says he’ll give him a fifth shot on the house. The man orders four shots of whiskey for himself.

The bartender looks at him and asks him what he’d like to drink. A man walks into a bar and takes a seat on one of the stools. His hair is a mess his family is nuts his next-door neighbor is an asshole his best friend is a pussy, and his owner beats him habitually.Ģ. If you get easily offeneded or need a safe space, these dirty jokes are definitely not for you!ġ.